Though we may not like it, every athlete thinks about their "Finish Line." That moment when we know our athletic careers are over.
 
It would be foolish for me to pretend that my time as a lacrosse player would never end.
I always envisioned that moment when I would walk off the field for the last time.
It was just like those scenes in the movies.
A moment full of emotions, bittersweet as I close the longest chapter of my life and get ready to move on to a new, exciting chapter.
 
But I never had that moment.
 
I didn't know that when I walked off the field at Rutgers on March 10, my time as a Leopard would be over. 
 
I started playing lacrosse when my parents enrolled me in my local youth team.

My dad was an athlete, playing football in college and lacrosse in high school,
so he was definitely a driving force behind starting my lacrosse career.
 
In middle school, I started playing on a competitive club lacrosse team and spent every weekend of summer
playing in tournaments or going to camps.
 
Traveling all across the east coast will forever be one of my favorite memories.
It gave me a chance to spend so much quality one-on-one time with my parents. 
   

The Finish Line
The Finish Line is a special series on GoLeopards.com consisting of first-person stories written by graduating student-athletes, reflecting on their Lafayette experience.

I began to really focus on lacrosse in high school.

Some of the nation's best players were a product of Garnet Valley,
and if not from my high school then from any other school in my area.
 
Of the nine girls in my senior class, seven of us played lacrosse in college, and six of us played Division I.
I was fortunate enough to win back-to-back state championships during my time there,
so when we lost in the state semifinal game my senior year, I was heartbroken.
 
As I look back on that moment, though, I now appreciate the closure that I was given.
 
I was upset, of course, but at least I knew that my last time playing for Garnet Valley was my last time, and I could more easily come to terms with that.
I had the comfort and excitement of knowing I was not yet finished with lacrosse, awaiting a brand new chapter on the horizon at Lafayette.
 
The second I set foot on campus for my unofficial visit, I knew that Lafayette was going to be my home.
 
It was raining that day, but Emma Hardy '18 told me,
 
"…if you like Lafayette on a rainy day, you'll love it on a sunny day."
 
I knew that I loved it on a rainy day, so I could not wait to have my fair share of sunny days on the hill.
   

























Being a freshman and knowing that an entire team of girls had my back was so incredible.

I was especially thankful for this companionship when I got injured only a couple months into my freshman year.
 
It was one of the last practices of fall ball and I broke my ankle going for a ground ball.
An injury that happened in just a matter of seconds kept me out until July, making me miss my first season at Lafayette.
 
It was tough coming back my sophomore year and feeling so behind compared to everyone else, especially with a roster as big as ours was.
 
It is so easy when you are a sophomore or junior to just get swept up in the routine of things.
Each day showing up to practice and just checking the boxes, living your life as a student athlete.
This pattern of complacency becomes even easier to fall into when you aren't seeing the field as much as you wish to.
 
Due to the close bond with my teammates, I was able to stay engaged by finding a role in being a sideline hype man.

During my junior season, we started to get a little crafty on the sidelines and amped up our celebrations.
 
Creating our own fun and consistently bringing energy every day with my friends was what got me through those years,
and I will always look back on those memories fondly.
 
At the end of my junior year it was announced that there was going to be a coaching change.
 
When I was home for the summer, I remember getting asked so many times,
 
"so you're getting a new coach for your final season...are you upset?"
 
It's true that change is scary. But I was thrilled to be a part of the newest era of Lafayette Lacrosse.
 
I am so grateful to have been able to play my final season under our new coaching staff.
 
They reminded me why I loved the game so much, and made me want to stop and appreciate every single second I had left as a student athlete.
Lacrosse became the highlight of my day and the coaches allowed me to gain confidence in myself as a player, teammate, and leader.
 
I was so incredibly honored to be named a co-captain and put in a position to lead our team in our new culture.

Being captain never seemed like it was in my path,
but I felt myself grow so much under Coach McConnell's leadership and I was thrilled to fill that position. 
 
In my senior year, I went from having no game experience, to being a starting captain on the team.
 
The 2020 season made my dreams come true and I have only my coaches and teammates to thank for making that possible.
 
Things were shaping up to be the perfect ending to my final chapter.
I knew my finish line was rapidly approaching, but I had come to terms with that as I was living out the best season of my life
and making unforgettable memories with my best friends.
 
But my finish line came nine games too soon.
 
I left the field at Rutgers on March 10 in a horrible mood because we lost and I wasn't happy with my performance.

We had an off day the next day and I just wanted to be able to break down the film and move on to prep for our first Patriot League game.

There were rumors about the potential for our season to be postponed or canceled, but it never seemed like it would happen.
 
The following day, the Ivy League canceled their season and we had a team meeting called for that afternoon.
I remember leaving the library with a group of teammates and making what I thought was my last walk to the locker room.
 
A shred of hope was given to us as we thought that we would be able to resume the remainder of our season
when we returned for classes on April 6th.
 It wasn't an ideal situation, but I would happily take that if it meant we could play again.
 
But it didn't take long for that shred of hope to be ripped away.
 
I woke up on March 12th to the news that the Patriot League had canceled our season,
and later learned that the NCAA canceled all spring sports.
 
The team threw us seniors a surprise Senior Day that day and gave me everything that I could have ever wanted from a Senior Day celebration.
 
It was truly an unforgettable day full of emotions from everyone, but a celebration doesn't make up for my last nine games as a student athlete.
It doesn't make up for the feeling of emptiness that comes with having your final season ripped away from you.

I fully understand that this is what needed to be done for everyone's safety, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. 
 

---

If I only learned one thing this year, it's to be appreciative to even have the opportunity to be a student-athlete.
 
At the end of every practice and before every game, sophomore Caroline Garti would chant,

"Who's got it better than we do?" and the whole team replied back, "No one!"
 
Coach McConnell put that into place this year so that we were constantly reminded that we should forever be grateful
to be a student-athlete playing at the level that we are.
 
When reflecting on this year, I find comfort in knowing that I showed up to every lift, practice, and game as if it were my last.
We were no longer just going through the motions and checking the boxes, we were giving our all every day and playing with passion.
 
Although my finish line came earlier than expected, I found closure in knowing I gave my all every day and can look back with no regrets. 
 
I will always cherish my time as a Lafayette Leopard and being able to wear the Maroon and White.